Monday 1 July 2019


So good bye 20s and hello 30s! Thank you everyone for the Birthday wishes. Lots of love to you all! Today I took the time to reflect on lessons I have learned so far in my 20s and felt inspired to share!

1. People will change and some will leave. Sometimes it's the ones you least expect and want to hold on to the most. The more your lives differ the less you will see of them. Sometimes you overextend yourself to have people you love in your life and they still leave. This is painful but it's important to not look at yourself through the eyes of people who leave you and don't see your worth. Or to hold onto something that is no longer meant to be. It's OK to lose others but don't lose yourself. See yourself as a vessel going towards your own uncharted seas. And sometimes that may be lonely when there is no one there beside you. But if you keep going towards yours goals and desires. You will eventually start meeting others along the path.

2. Self love is everything and you will be your own parent for the rest of your life. You inner child is very real and at certain times can take over the show. Learn to be gentle with that part of you, treat it with love, compassion and guidance. Let it be creative and nurture that part, it has a lot to teach us. This is a life long practice you will work towards. But if you make it a daily one, it will drastically improve your relationship with yourself as well as with others around you. We can be our own biggest mysteries and having a part of us always striving to know and understand oneself can help you heal, grow and transcend life's challenges.

3. Work is not everything. Growing up I always got the message to work relentlessly. But we sometimes get so caught up in the work that we forget to live and enjoy the things we are working so hard for. Rest and breaks are part of effective work. Over doing it could be counter productive and damaging to your health. Don't let your strive for work ruin what you are working so hard for.

4. Listen to your body. Health is wealth they say. I feel that is not something to fully understand until your health goes. Sometimes we push ourselves too hard and don't prioritize our health until we have no choice but too. If something in your life is negatively effecting your physical, mental and emotional health. Then it should be changed even if others around you don't understand. The way you live your life should be supporting and not damaging your health and well being. Life will just keep giving you lessons until you start to take better care of yourself.

5. It takes time. Healing takes time, building a career takes time, learning a new skill takes time. We live in such a fast paced world where everything is instant gratification. That we lose patience with ourselves and process that take longer. Sometimes we need to give ourselves more rest, practice more or stick to a routine longer then expected to get the results we desire. Not everything is meant to happen right away and we can't always control that. Life is not a race, it's OK to just let things be at times and find acceptance for where we are.

6. You are not going to accomplish everything in your 20s. Part of what has been causing me anxiety about turning 30 was that I felt I didn't achieve enough in my 20s and felt like a total failure. I know my older friends will chuckle at this.. But living in a high pressure society where achieving, money, career, marital status, youth and fit body are everything and a symbol of success. You tend to fall into that belief that there is something wrong with you if you don't have all those things.

5. You are always deserving. In life we sometimes get caught up thinking believing that if we were just, more successful, thinner, richer, more talented, then we would deserve to have love, belonging , support. Except that you fall into the perfectionism trap of never being enough. It is important to work towards your goals from a place of worthiness.

6. People will treat you the way you treat yourself and the way you allow yourself to be treated. The most important relationship is the relationship with you. It sets the standard for everything else.You always need to check in with how you are treating you and what you are allowing for in your life. Sometimes we need to adjust our boundaries and sometimes we need to let people go.

7. You're not going to make sense to everyone and sometimes your truth could make others uncomfortable. You may not fit into other's perception of you. Sometimes people will project past pain onto you or idolize and assume you are someone you're not. Like an art piece, some will hate parts of you that others will love. It's all a matter of perception.

8. Everyone has something to teach you and you have something to teach others. Some times what you really need to hear can come through the most unexpected person. And sometimes you are in the right place at the right to be able to help someone else. Learning is something that never ends and sometimes life's great lessons can come to you in unexpected ways, stay open to them.

9. Your past doesn't have to be your future. This is honestly a difficult one I am still in the process of learning. When you are so used to disappointments and circumstances turning out a certain way it is very difficult to believe in a different future. Since such a thing is just out of our perception. Sometimes this could lead to fear and anxiety when an opportunity presents itself. It helps to carry that fear and uncertainty with you like a child and being gentle with it. I also find inspiring is the quote “If you want something you've never had, you must do something you've never done.

10. You can't fight yourself and win. Tony Robbins said to see how everything is happening for you and not against you. I think every part of us is trying its very best to serve us in some way. Even if it seems counter intuitive. Of course this is easier said then done. But all too often I find that when some part of us causes stress, pain or shame we tend to turn against it and try to fight it as if it's some kind of enemy we need to defeat. I find being present with my self when my mind spirals into the panic and fear and seeing it as my mind's way of trying to help me avoid pain. Seeing how it is in fact trying to help me in its own way, and from there gently finding ways to self sooth.

11. It really doesn't matter in the end. You don't have to prove anything. Life is like a wheel of fortune, you never know where it will spin you and others. Whoever is ahead now could be behind in 6 months and vice versa. The things you worry about now may not matter next year. We are the person we are meant to be now growing and learning in our own way. The good, the bad, I believe nothing is by mistake. We exist in this time and space now but there is part of us that goes on for eternity.

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