Saturday, 21 July 2018

The ugly woman, and why you should love her


We've all seen her, the unvalued, unwanted out of place woman walking down the street. Her haggard appearance makes everyone look away. Sometimes she begs for food, change or just human connection. She is so repulsive to society, that some see her as vermin. She is so far lost in her world of numbing pain that she functions on pure instinct alone. She is well past the point of caring about her appearance, that was another lifetime ago. Now she takes on the role of the collective's waste and unwanted parts.

Like Frankenstein's monster, it is woven into her being and she seases to be a human at this point. The parts of us that are so shameful and repulsive that we banish them in the darkest corners of our being. Somehow find their way to her. Like a hoarder she collects everyone's waste and wears it like armor. She is the ultimate mirror to our suffering. As if she is chosen to carry the burden of the collective's shame and worthlessness. These people are often hidden, chased away and removed. For who would want to look at such a sight. It is horror itself to gaze upon her. For when your eyes lock with hers, you feel a piece of her hell. And you realized it is yours too. Most people go lifetimes banishing the ugly woman. Seeing her as worthless, as a blight on society. She is often used as an example to keep others in line. She is pointed at shamed, attacked and ridiculed. She is the living example of the hell we all try to avoid. The hell that lives in all of use that we run the rat-race to escape. She is the consciousness of what if we mess up in life? Her life is a sacrifice to the hell in all of us. Like a dark twisted deity she becomes an allegory. We only see her for what she represents and not for who she is. Because it is to painful to make her human. Because if we make her real like us, it will make all the pain she represents real in us aswell. Sometimes she lives next door, sometimes she lives on the street but a part of her lives in all of us. She is there when we hate the way we look in the mirror, when we hate out weight, our skin or when our wrinkles make us feel insecure, she is there when we don't feel good enough and she is there when we are all alone and feel unloved.

Just as how we treat her in the external, that is how we treat her in the internal. So what if we loved her? What if we loved that part of us that we banished so far into repulsiveness? What if we accepted it the way it is? With no hope of it changing, but accepting it as a crusial part of our whole. By finding a way to shine the same light on her as we do on our more favourable selves. If we be present with the part of her inside of us and find a way to let her be with no judgments. It will bring us to a level of self acceptance and love. That will not be hindered by gaining a few pounds or wrinkles. It will put us in a state where we no longer see the ugliness in ourselves.



Sunday, 1 July 2018

The world is full of darkness. Each of us have a little bit of light. We release that light if we let it shine properly. The world is a lesser place if you do not reveal from yourself what you have to reveal. If you aren't everything you could be; more people will die, more people will suffer, more evil will be unconstrained, more tyranny will reign, more chaos will remain chaotic and dangerous. This saying really inspired me today. You don't have to save the whole world but if you give the world the best version of yourself then that will help heal the world. <3

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Mermay Mermaids 2018

So here are some of the Mermay mermaids I finished. Playing around with a more cartoony style and drifting from the classic style mermaid with these.

 I wanted to make my mermaid a bit different from the classic so I based her off an eel. I was also thinking a primadona type and kind of Marlyn Manroe. This one started as a pencil sketch that I colored and inked in photoshop. Enjoy :)
 My next mermay mermaid. I based this one on the ruleska the 2 tailed mermaid. With a combination of the classical 50s cartoon style. The original sketch was in pencils then finished in photoshop. Enjoy :)
 New Mermay mermaid. This gloomy one is a nice contrast to the previous mermaid. Lots of fun with this character.
Her name is flower, she is all about bliss. I listened to pocket full of sunshine while painting her 😌

Wednesday, 28 March 2018

Serene Deer Painting

So this one has a story behind it. About two years ago on my birthday I decided to go on a mini hike through a nature trail. As I crossed over a bridge, a deer calmly walked by and started drinking from the pond. She didn't seem to mind my presence. I was very surprised to see her, since we were still pretty close to the city. I was in awe as I watched her drink from the pond and then gracefully walk across and disappear into the tall grass. It was definitely a nice treat to be able to witness on my birthday, she totally brought me into the present moment.

I was able to snap some pictures That I used for this painting is done in acrylics on canvas


Thursday, 8 March 2018

Creepy character

Hey everyone! So I got some more creepy horror, themed commissions I've been working on. This one is done in Photoshop. Here is the progression of the image from sketch to finish :)

 1. So this part is all about thinking up the composition and making the four armed character look scary and berserk. Mostly just playing around with the shapes and making it an interesting crop.
 2. Adding the hand definitely added to the fierce and creepiness with her long nails. Making her more dangerous and ready to strike. While figuring out the shape of the hair and getting the undertone of the skin.
 3. This part is refining the details and working out the lighting. I know I wanted a lighting from below to add to that unnatural and unsettling feeling. I am also having her looking slightly down to make her look more powerful.
4. Finishing up with some more dramatic lighting and eerie details. Enjoy :)

Sunday, 11 February 2018

Creey Skull commission

As written in the title, this indeed is a creepy skull I was commissioned to paint. Painted in Photoshop, reference from a skull study I did previously. For some reason I enjoy drawing creepy and cute things :)