We've all seen her, the unvalued,
unwanted out of place woman walking down the street. Her haggard
appearance makes everyone look away. Sometimes she begs for food,
change or just human connection. She is so repulsive to society, that
some see her as vermin. She is so far lost in her world of numbing
pain that she functions on pure instinct alone. She is well past the
point of caring about her appearance, that was another lifetime ago.
Now she takes on the role of the collective's waste and unwanted
parts.
Like Frankenstein's monster, it is
woven into her being and she seases to be a human at this point. The
parts of us that are so shameful and repulsive that we banish them in
the darkest corners of our being. Somehow find their way to her. Like
a hoarder she collects everyone's waste and wears it like armor. She
is the ultimate mirror to our suffering. As if she is chosen to carry
the burden of the collective's shame and worthlessness. These people
are often hidden, chased away and removed. For who would want to look
at such a sight. It is horror itself to gaze upon her. For when your
eyes lock with hers, you feel a piece of her hell. And you realized
it is yours too. Most people go lifetimes banishing the ugly woman.
Seeing her as worthless, as a blight on society. She is often used as
an example to keep others in line. She is pointed at shamed, attacked
and ridiculed. She is the living example of the hell we all try to
avoid. The hell that lives in all of use that we run the rat-race to
escape. She is the consciousness of what if we mess up in life? Her
life is a sacrifice to the hell in all of us. Like a dark twisted
deity she becomes an allegory. We only see her for what she
represents and not for who she is. Because it is to painful to make
her human. Because if we make her real like us, it will make all the
pain she represents real in us aswell. Sometimes she lives next door,
sometimes she lives on the street but a part of her lives in all of
us. She is there when we hate the way we look in the mirror, when we
hate out weight, our skin or when our wrinkles make us feel insecure,
she is there when we don't feel good enough and she is there when we
are all alone and feel unloved.
Just as how we treat her in the
external, that is how we treat her in the internal. So what if we
loved her? What if we loved that part of us that we banished so far
into repulsiveness? What if we accepted it the way it is? With no
hope of it changing, but accepting it as a crusial part of our whole.
By finding a way to shine the same light on her as we do on our more
favourable selves. If we be present with the part of her inside of us
and find a way to let her be with no judgments. It will bring us to a
level of self acceptance and love. That will not be hindered by
gaining a few pounds or wrinkles. It will put us in a state where we
no longer see the ugliness in ourselves.